Sit bones grounded: rock forward until you feel both sitting bones evenly planted, then lengthen the spine upward as if a thread lifts the crown.
Knees lower than hips: slide a folded blanket under both seats so the pelvis tilts slightly forward — this protects the lower back and opens the hip crease.
Pelvic tilt: the receiving partner can rock the pelvis a few degrees forward or back to fine-tune angle of contact; small shifts change sensation more than big thrusts.
Shoulders soft and wide: roll them down and away from the ears so the chest stays open and breath flows to the belly.
Foot placement: if legs wrap, hook the ankles loosely behind the lower back — not the kidneys — and keep the toes relaxed, not pointed hard.
Partner cues
Receiver
Lift through the crown and let the pelvis rock freely — your spine is the wave, not your legs.
Use your inner thighs to gently squeeze your partner's hips; small squeezes change pace better than verbal cues.
If your hip flexors tighten, lean back onto your hands for 30 seconds to reset, then return.
Giver
Anchor your sit bones first; if your seat moves, your whole frame loses honesty of contact.
Place hands at the low back, not the shoulders — support comes from below the pelvis.
Lead the rocking from your tailbone, not your shoulders, so the motion is hip-driven and breath-paced.
Props & setup
Firm cushion or meditation bolster for sit bones.
Folded blanket under knees.
Optional: a sturdy chair without armrests.
Safety & comfort
Stop and reset if any joint reports a sharp or sudden pain — sharp pain is information, not weakness.
Empty pockets, remove jewelry, and trim nails before close contact positions.
Use lubricant generously; friction is the most common reason a position 'doesn't feel right'.
Reset every 5–10 minutes: shake out the hands, roll the shoulders, hydrate.